Because your employer’s attempt to recognize your service is an insult

You’ve been with your employer for 10 years now.

Your employer marked the anniversary by sending you a cheaply-printed 10-years service certificate, along with a tiny, gold-coloured piece of plastic, the purpose of which is a mystery.

The envelope in which the certificate was mailed to you was addressed to someone called Robert.

The letter included with the certificate was addressed to someone called Paul.

The certificate itself was written out to someone called James.

Your name is Mark.

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.